Coast or Pedal

Today, I went for a bike ride. This is the first bike ride I have been on in almost a year. Well, that is not really true. Bryan and I went for a two-mile bike ride in April. THAT was the first bike ride I had been on in almost a year. Last year, with both kids at home for one last summer, we went on LOTS of bike rides! LOTS!!!! On one particular bike ride, it was just me and "the boy". (That is my affectionate name for my 20 year-old son. I am not allowed to use his name in social networking. Others call him "He Who Shall not be Named" ... whatever fits!) The boy literally tried to KILL me!!!! I am not 20, nor am I a boy, nor am I physically active. I did keep up ... or more probably, he just kept the speed down so I would not be left behind. Let's just say one should EASE into bike riding. My bike is 20 plus years old. It is BRIGHT pink. It has foot brakes. Should I decide to ride in a MS-150, I would not be allowed past the registration site with this bike. But the bike is in MUCH better condition than me. I started off strong. I didn't go the same way that Bryan and I went in April as that way had a MILD hill. I went the LONG way. Guess what, it had MULTIPLE HILLS! In a car, these hills are not hills - they are flat. On a 20 plus year-old bike with a 50-year old body, they are MOUNTAINS. I started the ride praying the alphabet with God. It is a GREAT way to praise God. Just start with the letter 'A' and praise God for whatever comes into your mind. I praised God for being All Mighty. Into the first hill, I had to stop praising God and start saying repeatedly "I think I can, I think I can." Into the second hill, a car slowly passed by. I'm not sure if they were laughing at the bike or worrying about the biker on the bike, but I continued confidently. Into about the third hill, I decided to use my brain to get through the hill. Rather than coast going down just prior to the hill, if I would continue to pedal REALLY fast in the slight descent prior to the hill, maybe coming up the hill would be easier. I'm not sure if it was any easier, but I made it. Long about the fourth hill, God decided to start talking to me in the small whisper inside my soul. He asked me if I pedaled or coasted in the descent just prior to a life hill. We all go through life crises. In fact I have heard "You are either IN a crisis, about to go THROUGH a crisis, or just ENDING a crisis." When I am not IN a crisis, I tend to coast. This is when I slack off on my Bible Study. My prayer time is less often. I feel like God is silent. My prior, and first post, had me in a GREAT place. I thought "I made it! I have finally gotten in a good "pattern" with God! There is NO going back!" Well, that lasted a day! A DAY!!!! REALLY?! Satan attacked and had me going back into old patterns. When I say old patterns, it is the thoughts that get me. Low self-esteem and low self-ego are not even going to begin to explain what I go through. I get down on myself - VERY DOWN! I even start singing "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll eat some worms!" I know every verse to this song. Bryan, my FABULOUS husband, has often wondered if I am bi-polar - not really, but with a "tinge" of concern. I have INCREDIBLY high highs, but the lows are LOWER than LOW! That is what happened the day after my last post. I beat myself up. Satan was once again in his happy place. He was smug! I can even see his little smug grin. It all starts when one person makes an innocent comment and that comment leads me down to the ABYSS. Have you been there? I MUST not coast when things are okay. I must pedal - and pedal HARD!!!!! In the spiritual daily life, there is no coasting. There must be DAILY exercise. Pray, read, study, pray some more, read some more, study some more. It is easy, almost natural, to pray to God in the hard times. We cry out! We plead! We beg! It may even be expected to praise God in the great times - the mountain top experience, the youth camp experience! But what do you do in the in-between times? As I was finishing my bike ride and truly thought death was going to be happening any second, I saw the white pearly gates! They weren't really pearly nor were they gates, but they were white. Our neighbors have a white wooden fence around their front yard. I didn't know it, but our house is located within a little hill. UGH!!!! I was almost home and I so wanted to give up. Giving up was not an option though. Why? I left my cell phone at home! I couldn't even call Bryan and ask him to come pick me up. Trust me I thought of this on about mile one and a half. I had to keep pedaling! Pedal, dear friends, and pedal hard. You too can live your life "unhindered"! (See previous post) Akolytos!!!!!

Akolytos

God has been working on me lately ... a LOT!!! For the first time in a long time, I can truly say I am walking with God ... DAILY ... okay, almost daily. I am still not as good as I would like to be about Bible Study, but I am getting better. I am still not as good as I would like to be with prayer time, but I am getting better. I have struggled with "happiness". Questions that take place in my head go something like this: "I am a Christian. Christians are supposed to be happy. Christians are supposed to be different. Christians are supposed to be content. Christians are supposed to be joyful. Christians are supposed to act in a way that draws others to Christ. Why am I not happy, different, content or joyful? Why am I not drawing others to Christ?" Then I start pointing fingers: "Paul was in prison, Paul was beaten, Paul was stoned, Paul was shipwrecked, Paul was flogged, Paul had an infliction that was not ever relieved. PAUL . COULD . NOT . HAVE . BEEN . HAPPY!!!!!!" Paul never said he was happy. Paul said he was joyful. Does anyone really think Paul sat in prison and sang songs letting others know there was no where else he would rather be than in prison? Of course not. No one WANTS to be in prison. Was he "happy"? Probably not. Was he joyful? Absolutely!!! So what is the difference? I may never be happy. I am always looking for something. I am always looking for a better job. I am always looking for better friends. I am always looking for a better church. (Okay, maybe not, since my husband is on staff at a local church!) I am always looking for better outward circumstances. But joy - it comes from inside. "Happy" is from the influence of outer events and circumstances. Joy is void of any events or circumstances. Joy is from within. Joy stems from the peace that passes understanding, but it has to be more than that. So this brings me to akōlytōs, which is prounounced ah-ko-lu-tos with the emphasis on lu, only appears one time in the Bible. It is the last verse, the last word of Acts. Acts 28:31 to be exact. He proclaimed the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ—with all boldness and without hindrance! NIV Preaching the kingdom of God and teaching concerning the Lord Jesus Christ with all openness, unhindered. NASB After having a fight and splitting ways with his co-preachers, after a ship wreck, after floggings, after criticism, after prison, after all that Paul had been through Paul was unhindered. I find it interesting that the man that wrote the largest part of the New Testament, much of which was done while he was in prison and in chains, proclaimed the gospel unhindered. There are so many things (and people) that can hinder us. In fact some have already quit reading this because they are hindered by time constraints. What would it mean to live life unhindered? I don't know. That is what I hope to find. I hope you will pray for me, as I will pray for you, that you will discover the meaning of akōlytōs. Until next time may you live life unhindered.