Coast or Pedal

Today, I went for a bike ride. This is the first bike ride I have been on in almost a year. Well, that is not really true. Bryan and I went for a two-mile bike ride in April. THAT was the first bike ride I had been on in almost a year. Last year, with both kids at home for one last summer, we went on LOTS of bike rides! LOTS!!!! On one particular bike ride, it was just me and "the boy". (That is my affectionate name for my 20 year-old son. I am not allowed to use his name in social networking. Others call him "He Who Shall not be Named" ... whatever fits!) The boy literally tried to KILL me!!!! I am not 20, nor am I a boy, nor am I physically active. I did keep up ... or more probably, he just kept the speed down so I would not be left behind. Let's just say one should EASE into bike riding. My bike is 20 plus years old. It is BRIGHT pink. It has foot brakes. Should I decide to ride in a MS-150, I would not be allowed past the registration site with this bike. But the bike is in MUCH better condition than me. I started off strong. I didn't go the same way that Bryan and I went in April as that way had a MILD hill. I went the LONG way. Guess what, it had MULTIPLE HILLS! In a car, these hills are not hills - they are flat. On a 20 plus year-old bike with a 50-year old body, they are MOUNTAINS. I started the ride praying the alphabet with God. It is a GREAT way to praise God. Just start with the letter 'A' and praise God for whatever comes into your mind. I praised God for being All Mighty. Into the first hill, I had to stop praising God and start saying repeatedly "I think I can, I think I can." Into the second hill, a car slowly passed by. I'm not sure if they were laughing at the bike or worrying about the biker on the bike, but I continued confidently. Into about the third hill, I decided to use my brain to get through the hill. Rather than coast going down just prior to the hill, if I would continue to pedal REALLY fast in the slight descent prior to the hill, maybe coming up the hill would be easier. I'm not sure if it was any easier, but I made it. Long about the fourth hill, God decided to start talking to me in the small whisper inside my soul. He asked me if I pedaled or coasted in the descent just prior to a life hill. We all go through life crises. In fact I have heard "You are either IN a crisis, about to go THROUGH a crisis, or just ENDING a crisis." When I am not IN a crisis, I tend to coast. This is when I slack off on my Bible Study. My prayer time is less often. I feel like God is silent. My prior, and first post, had me in a GREAT place. I thought "I made it! I have finally gotten in a good "pattern" with God! There is NO going back!" Well, that lasted a day! A DAY!!!! REALLY?! Satan attacked and had me going back into old patterns. When I say old patterns, it is the thoughts that get me. Low self-esteem and low self-ego are not even going to begin to explain what I go through. I get down on myself - VERY DOWN! I even start singing "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll eat some worms!" I know every verse to this song. Bryan, my FABULOUS husband, has often wondered if I am bi-polar - not really, but with a "tinge" of concern. I have INCREDIBLY high highs, but the lows are LOWER than LOW! That is what happened the day after my last post. I beat myself up. Satan was once again in his happy place. He was smug! I can even see his little smug grin. It all starts when one person makes an innocent comment and that comment leads me down to the ABYSS. Have you been there? I MUST not coast when things are okay. I must pedal - and pedal HARD!!!!! In the spiritual daily life, there is no coasting. There must be DAILY exercise. Pray, read, study, pray some more, read some more, study some more. It is easy, almost natural, to pray to God in the hard times. We cry out! We plead! We beg! It may even be expected to praise God in the great times - the mountain top experience, the youth camp experience! But what do you do in the in-between times? As I was finishing my bike ride and truly thought death was going to be happening any second, I saw the white pearly gates! They weren't really pearly nor were they gates, but they were white. Our neighbors have a white wooden fence around their front yard. I didn't know it, but our house is located within a little hill. UGH!!!! I was almost home and I so wanted to give up. Giving up was not an option though. Why? I left my cell phone at home! I couldn't even call Bryan and ask him to come pick me up. Trust me I thought of this on about mile one and a half. I had to keep pedaling! Pedal, dear friends, and pedal hard. You too can live your life "unhindered"! (See previous post) Akolytos!!!!!